Sunday, June 17, 2018

Life Goals: The Musical

My daughter and I have a random running musical in our lives that involves the term life goals.  For example, "Making spaghetti.  Life Goals!" Also, "Remembering to set the alarm to get up early.  Life Goals!"  Someday, we may organize this enough to actually get an entire musical in order (don't hold your breath - it hasn't made our life goals list yet).

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed that I have come to an age of maturity that involves not caring so much about what other people think about me and advocating more for myself.  This is actually a life goal that I didn't realize I had but boy did I need it.  This has been developing over my entire life with events taking place here and there that forced me out of my comfort zone only for me to retreat back to it once I had done what needed to be done.  I'm not sure why these events have made me open my eyes up to this feeling as I am sure it has been this way longer than the past month but it leaves me feeling a little lighter in my step.

At the end of May, we spent the weekend camping.  Actually on my menu was lunch at a local restaurant.  That's right - driving out of the campground, not cooking our own meal over a fire and eating in an air-conditioned restaurant with food that I enjoy but don't get often because the restaurant is not in our town.  I didn't think anything of this until, when we were walking back to our campsite, one of the other guests made it a point to walk up to us and asked something like, "Is that actually a pizza box?" "Yes," we replied.  "Where did you get that?"  "There's a restaurant about 15 minutes away," Ben said.  "Oh," said the man and walked away.  Personally, I think he just wanted pizza and thought he might find it on-site.  Nope.  Only after that brief exchange of words did I realize that ten or so years ago, I wouldn't have even considered leaving the campground to get food for fear of what people would think.  The lesson here is if you want something, don't let the concern of what others will think make up your mind for you.

This past weekend, we went to Washington, D.C. to meet up with some friends and spend a beautiful day at the Library of Congress, the Smithsonian Castle and the Freer Gallery of Art.  Ever the planner, I enjoy looking at what to get into while we are there (hence, these places noted above with the exception of the Freer Gallery, that was a walk-on bonus).  My main goal at the Library of Congress was to get a Reader Card for a few reasons: the awesome factor of having a card from the largest library in the world that gives me the privilege of reading whatever I like there and being able to physically walk into the most beautiful room I've ever seen.

Our first stop was the information desk to get directions on where to get this precious card.  "Oh, are you doing research?" the information desk lady asks excitedly.  "No, I really just want a card."  "Oh, well, we really frown upon getting the card if it is not for research purposes.  The Reader Card is really for people to do research.  We have a nice gift shop where you can purchase a souvenir."  I blank stare at her and she continues after the uncomfortable silence, "But if you insist on getting one, you go down the stairs, then down a yellow hallway then up an elevator then down another hall . . ." and she says something about the cloak room.  "Thanks," I say and walk away.  I go over to my crew and they ask what she said.  I tell them and Jason asks what I'm going to do.  "I'm getting a card, that's what," or something to that effect.  It probably took us more than 20 minutes to find the place, after asking multiple people, but we made it.

After sleeping on what happened at the information desk, I'm still agitated that she even felt like she had a right to dictate to me, or anyone else (because I am undoubtedly certain I am not the first person she has given this speech to), what I should and should not do.  This wasn't me back then.  Back then, I would have metaphorically tucked my tail between my legs and maybe even peed myself a little bit for even thinking that I should ask for a Reader Card.  How dare I want such a frivolous card for my own petty desires.  It should be good enough that I can look at the room from behind a glass wall three or four stories up.  The lesson here, if you care to have one, is if you want it, get it.  Don't let what someone else tells you make you stray from your own path of happiness to make him or her happy.  Make yourself happy.

I, for one, spend a lot of time and effort trying to help other people be happy, and I love giving of myself for this purpose but I also used to think that it wasn't appropriate for me to concern myself with my own happiness.  It was for the people around me to make that happen.  Something switched on in my brain and now I  know, it's okay for me to do things that make me happy.  And you want to hear the most crazy part?  It's okay for you to do things that make you happy, too!  Life goals!

Sunday, December 31, 2017

It's the end of the year as I know it and I feel fine: A wrap up on my 2017 resolution, Be More

The second half of the year went by in a blur.  Sometimes, it was dragging me along as I waved my white flag of surrender and other times, I was flying high.  Here are some updates from my 2017 resolution: Be More.

Be more giving.
Last time I updated you, I mentioned I wanted to look into volunteering for something that would take me way out of my comfort zone.  I made the crazy decision to volunteer for our Girl Scout Service Unit's Fall Product Sales Manager.  I was really intimidated at first because the training was pretty limited and it was hard to know what I was getting into ahead of time.  It turned out to be a lot easier than I expected but still a lot of work.  I didn't tally the total hours but if I were to make a conservative guess, I'd put it at around 30 hours.  I went into it thinking it would be a day here and a day there but it did take more effort than that.  Was it worth it?  I say yes.  I actually enjoyed it once it was all said and done (though, technically, I'm still not done because I have the earns for the troops to give out that came just before Christmas).

Be more well read.
I've read a few more books since my last post.  Robert Fulghum's Third Wish was the first one I conquered and I use that word because, while I enjoyed the first four parts of this 850+ page novel, I had to drag myself through the last part.  It should have ended at four but, to be honest, my attention on what was going on in the fifth part was not really there since the author lost me when it picked up at the author's house that wasn't the actual author's house but the author's house of the story.  Maybe it was the actual author's house and that's where I checked out.  You can't win them all.  The next book I read was Momzillas by Jill Kargman.  This was a very predictable, easy read book about a west coast mom relocated to New York City via her husband's job relocation.  I finished this book over the course of less than a week.  The last book I read this year was You'll Never Know, Dear by Hallie Ephron.  This book states that it is, "A Novel of Suspense," but, again, this was a predictable read and I have to admit, I skipped over two or three chapters in the middle just so I could get to the point.  So, overall, these books weren't all good or all bad but they all had positives.  I look forward to finding my next book and the next one and so on.

Be more inspiring.
What started as 30 days of positive or funny quotes on facebook turned into 60 days.  Shortly after those days, I decided to post 30 of my favorite pictures.  Some pictures were favorites because of the people in them, others were the memories they invoke and some were just plain pretty.  I've tried to be more positive at home and at work.  I am fortunate to have the life I have with the family and friends I get to share it with.

My resolution for 2018 is simplify.  Let's see where that goes.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Potato. Potato.

Random post time!  Have you ever had that conversation about being on a deserted island and you can only bring one thing or three things with you?  I think Ben and I first had that conversation over an early episode of Survivor.  I can't remember for certain what my one luxury item was but I'm thinking I probably said lip balm (with SPF in it).  Who says that?  A person who has actually had her lips sunburned.  I mean blistering, swollen, seeping sunburned.  Given how pale I am, I would like to think I said sun block, knowing I could put that over my lips, too, but I'm pretty sure I was just focused on the lips and would have to spread that stuff all over me.

What about this one: You can only have one food for the rest of your life.  What will it be?  No matter what, you are going to be nutritionally lacking so you had better pick something you really love. 

Based on the title of this post, you have probably deduced my pick - potato.  In an ideal single item world, this would be multiple types of potato - russet, white, purple, baby reds, fingerling, sweet and so on.   According to the International Potato Center (no, really, it's legit - look it up), there are over 4,000 edible varieties of potato.  They have loads of nutritional values including potassium, Vitamin C, Vitamin B6, fiber, iron, carbohydrates and even protein!

Can we talk about how many ways we can make a potato, Forrest Gump style? Sidebar: If you don't get this reference, I am sad for you.  Stop reading this blog and go watch the movie. With potato chips. Now.  We've got baked potato, mashed potato, potato latkes, fried potatoes, french fries (to include all cuts of potato to make any type of fries), twice baked potatoes, hasselback potatoes, hash brown potatoes, potatoes o'brien, boiled potatoes, broiled potatoes, roasted potatoes, potato salad (nothing says we can't add other items found in nature), potato kebabs, potato skins, potatoes over a campfire (foil packets), grilled potatoes, scalloped potatoes, potato pie, potato casserole, smashed potatoes, potato soup, gnocchi, tater tots, fried mashed potatoes, potato chips - so many ways, so little time.

There's actually an article (or possibly 100+) about whether or not you could survive off a potato only diet, and this one references someone that actually tried it for a year:

The guy succeeded, by the way, and lost a lot of weight along the journey (  In no way am I saying, "Go forth and potato diet."  I'm just sharing random information that I found interesting and thought you might, too.  So, what would be your one food for the rest of your life, if that were something you had to do?

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Fun Moments in Travel - Episode 10

We thought it would be nice to go for a family outing one Saturday evening for Ben to go fishing, the kid to take pictures and for me to take a walk.  Actually, the idea was more like I wanted to go for a walk and Ben wanted to go fishing and the kid didn't want to go anywhere.  We left later than I would have liked due to what I will refer to as a kid strike.  These usually involve an extensive amount of time spent in the bathroom "getting ready," followed by an attempted negotiation by the kid to stay home which is shut down by the usual, "This is not a negotiation speech," which leads to the need to go pick out socks then, painstakingly, the kid manages to get into the vehicle with a look of petulance that a photographer can only dream about capturing at a photo shoot.

Less than an hour to go before sunset, we manage to get to our destination.  We don't have much time so I tell Ben to go park by the water.  It is not as warm as it was supposed to be so I know it's going to be a quick, cold walk.  The kid stays in the car to draw and we don't even bother to discuss it.  We got where we wanted to be in spite of the kid strike.

I get going for a walk and make it to the other side of the pond, take a few pictures and notice that someone has parked their car directly behind ours.  Weird, why would someone park there?  I look over to see Ben put down his fishing pole and say something to someone but I can't tell if the kid got out of the car or if it is someone else.  I try to listen for voices.  Is he getting robbed?  Is the kid in the car still?  What is going on over there?

Oh well, no screams, so I keep walking around a bit more, taking a few more pictures but the car is still there.  I start to walk back over but wonder if I need to call 911 or take pictures of the car or something so I hesitate about halfway back.  I send a text to Ben, "Okay over there?"  "Yep."  "Ready to go?"  No response.  "I don't see you fishing."  No response.  I wonder if he's really okay or the person robbing him made him type that so I call and try to look like it's not me calling from 200 feet away, just in case I really should be calling 911.  A robber would totally fall for that - some eyewitness missing the entire crime because she's calling someone while looking at the tree in the water.  Seems legit.  Ben answers hurriedly, "Where's your insurance card!?"  I try to tell him it is in the glove box and he says, "He's back, gotta go."

I decide it is safe to approach and get to the car after the other car has left.  Apparently, a police SUV car.  It turns out, I told Ben to park in a permit only parking lot.  He also didn't have his fishing license nor could he find proof of insurance in my car (which I showed him in less than 5 seconds when I got to the car).  Each instance was a $100 fine, though we could go to court to fight the insurance one.  Fortunately, Ben didn't get anything but a warning.  Our car ride home was mostly quiet with a few noises from the back seat about how we shouldn't have gone out and, especially, not brought the kid along.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

2017 Be More: An Update

Life has been flying by.  I suppose that means I have been having fun, right?  I can't say that I feel like I have been actively working on being more but when I sit down to write this update, I realize I am being more than I realized.

Be more giving.
I've started volunteering with the kid once a month.  Usually, I am nervous about volunteering.  It's a new place with new people and I don't know what the expectations are so I worry about not doing a good enough job.  After a few months, I decided that any help is better than no help and it's volunteer work so they can't fire me.  Now, instead of being nervous, I look forward to it.  When we are done, I feel a sense of being more - giving of myself, being an example to the kid, benefiting the local community and appreciating that the life I am living right now gives me the opportunity to do something to help others.  I want to volunteer more and am actually looking into something that takes me way out of my comfort zone.  We will see where that one leads in the next few months.  Stay tuned!

Be more well read (or other activity you enjoy).
I used to read a lot when I was younger (read: before college, when it was for fun and not for assignments) but as I got older, I had other things to do or would lose interest in what I was reading.  Over the last few months, I have read three books.  I realize this is a low number to some people but it's more than I have read over the past 5 years, easily.  Taking the time to actually read a book to completion is being more - more patient to finish the book and more disciplined to stop reading at a decent hour so I could wake up rested (this was another problem I had with reading - I couldn't put books down and go to sleep).  I am currently re-reading a book by Robert Fulghum, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."  I think the first time I read this book, I was in high school.  It's a grouping of short stories so I can read as many chapters as I like and put the book down at a decent hour.  This is probably the fourth time I am reading this book.  In all, I've read four of his books and will actively pursue reading the other ones out there that I haven't read yet.  I love physical books.  Reading on a screen just isn't the same for me and since I usually read before bed, I prefer not to stare at a lit screen before heading off to sleep.  Oh, and if you are curious to know what books I've read - they were, in order: Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Stories to be Read with the Lights on (Alfred Hitchcock), The Giver (Lois Lowry) and I'll Push You (Patrick Gray and Justin Skeesuck).

Be more inspiring.

I took to facebook a few months ago and posted positive or funny quotes for 30 days in a row.  Some people were concerned about my mental state while others were encouraged with me.  A few weeks later, people were asking me about posting more - they had started looking forward to what the day's thought or quote would be so I did another 30 day stint with even more positive, happy or quirky posts.  The quotes were intended to give me a positive start to each day (or evening if mornings didn't allow time for the post) and ended up being a piece of inspiration for anyone who happened to cross my posts.  I'm currently working on a different 30 day of posts and can't wait to share that with my facebook family!

That's where I've been.  How about you?  What have you been doing to be more?  Any suggested reads for a non-reader?  Share!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Motivational Speeches

I love a good motivational speech.  You leave the room with a glow beaming from your insides.  You feel like you can conquer anything thrown at you.  A major project to complete in two days for your boss, no problem.  Projectile vomit from your son's tiny little body, exorcist style, no problem.  Repairing the hole in the side of your house that the neighbor's tree fell through, no problem.  Making a five course meal for your in-laws on a Tuesday, hell yeah!

But then that speech wears off and you realize you can barely conquer peeing in the toilet sitting down.  Stress takes over - too much to do and nowhere near enough time.  Why is this project your priority?  What kind of kid has that much vomit in that tiny little body?  Seriously, is he hollowing out his legs with this crap?  How many times did you tell that damn neighbor to trim that stupid ass huge tree?  I barely cook grilled cheese for dinner during the week, let alone a five course meal for people that I don't go to bed with.

So how can we find a happy balance between, "I own this world," and "The bed is the only safe place right now?"  The answer, my friend, is Moderational Speeches. (Sidebar: Can I trademark that phrase?  It's amazing!)  One might ask, "Moderational Speech?" or, "What is this Moderational Speech to which you are referencing?"  These are speeches that keep us level - not so high that people think we are on medications and not so low that people think we are on medications.  Seriously, though, who cares if we are on medications?  Medicines have their purpose but, I digress.

Let's go through the parts of a Moderational Speech as though you are the speaker, externally or internally.  If you are wondering why you are the speaker, the reason is that you, my friend, are the director of your life and personal dialogue.  By the end of both speeches, you will feel completely grounded but have a little extra kick in your step because you are that good at moderational balancing.
Speech to give to people
Internal speech dialogue
1.      Thank everyone for taking time out of their lives to come listen to you speak today.
1.      Take a moment to reflect on how awesome you are for taking the time out of your day to give yourself this speech.
2.      Let everyone know that you have lots of other things to do today so they should also thank you for being here to talk to them but don't be obnoxious about this.
2.  Continue to self reflect on all that you do     each day to share your awesomeness with the world, all without the incessant pestering for acknowledgement and accolades.
3.      Highlight things that make people feel motivated.  Sometimes, quoting songs can inspire people such as, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life."1
3.   Sing some of your favorite songs, in your head or  out loud.  One of our favorite songs is, "It's Hard to Be Humble," by Mac Davis.
4.      Continue with movie quotes, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."2
4.  Think about how cool a name like Mac Davis is and what your cool name should be. 

5.      Let people know that sometimes, everything is going to feel like it is going your way and, other times, it will feel like the floor is falling out from under you.
5.  Consider legally changing your name to this then realize you aren't really motivated enough to make that happen.
6.      The important thing to remember, in the most moderational inspiration you can muster, is that everything will be okay eventually.
6.  Finish up by remembering that even if all you did today was clean poop off of a wall (don't ask), it was done by a great person with moderational goals and that's good enough.

I'm not the best with citing sources but here's what I got:
1 The Facts of Life, Television Show, portion of lyrics from seasons 2 - 5.
2 From the movie, Forrest Gump.  Great movie, you should watch it.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

2017 Be More: What's up with that?

New Year's Resolution: Two Months In
It's hard to believe I haven't blogged for two months - the time seems to have gone by so fast and so slow at the same time.  I left off with my 2017 resolution: be more.  Be more, it turns out, means so many things.

Be more present.
We've become a society encapsulated in technology.  While I don't describe myself as a person that can't be without technology, I do realize that I spend way more time in the virtual world than the real world for my liking.  I can remember having conversations with my daughter or husband that I didn't really listen to because I was distracted.  It hit me one day that my lack of presence in the discussions could lead to no conversations down the road and that is not a direction I wanted to take.  In order to be more present, I put down the phone or laptop or mute/turn off the television when they come into my space to talk.  They are WAY more important than anything else and I wanted them to feel that from me.

Be more appreciative.
Really?  How general is that one?  For me, this means trying to consciously appreciate what I have in life, like how awesome my friends and family are, having a warm house to come home to and a reliable car to get me around.  I can be a negative, pessimistic person and when I start down that path, it gets wider and longer very quickly so I am trying to be more aware of how good I have it.

Be more amazed.
Not sure if you've noticed this but we live on a planet with tons of cool things to experience.  The sky alone is an entire topic of amazement.  The clouds, or lack thereof, the way the sun shines through pouring rain is an anomaly in itself that still mystifies me every single time it happens.  Rainbows, double rainbows, sunsets that look like the world is on fire and eerie sunrises through the fog.  That's just a small portion of the day sky, not even touching the night sky.  Then there's trees and animals and insects and so on.  Just get out there and be amazed by this place, you won't be disappointed.

Be more kind to yourself.
There's a few components being addressed here.  Sometimes, I have an internal, self-deflating inner voice that puts me down.  I consciously work to knock that bitch down and I've come a long way but still need to focus on the virtual smack down from time to time.  Another way I am trying to be more kind to myself is to make healthier food choices and get more physical activity in.  Now, being kind to myself does not involve taking away any foods - I am living one life and it won't be one without cake, cookies, ice cream, cinnamon rolls and so on but it will be one that involves more fruits and veggies!  Physical activity, for me, is simply doing more.  I get up around 5:30 to get 30 minutes of exercise in, usually walking or a weights/walking combination four or five days a week.  Getting this done in the morning usually leads to higher energy levels through my day and a better attitude because I've already started my day successfully.  This is also time I get alone, to focus on me, because the other people in the house are usually sleeping while I'm getting my sweat on!  I've been feeling tons better since making these changes, which actually started well before the 2017 resolution.

That's what I've been up to for the past two months.  Let's see what else I can do to be more this year.