Monday, March 20, 2017

Motivational Speeches

I love a good motivational speech.  You leave the room with a glow beaming from your insides.  You feel like you can conquer anything thrown at you.  A major project to complete in two days for your boss, no problem.  Projectile vomit from your son's tiny little body, exorcist style, no problem.  Repairing the hole in the side of your house that the neighbor's tree fell through, no problem.  Making a five course meal for your in-laws on a Tuesday, hell yeah!

But then that speech wears off and you realize you can barely conquer peeing in the toilet sitting down.  Stress takes over - too much to do and nowhere near enough time.  Why is this project your priority?  What kind of kid has that much vomit in that tiny little body?  Seriously, is he hollowing out his legs with this crap?  How many times did you tell that damn neighbor to trim that stupid ass huge tree?  I barely cook grilled cheese for dinner during the week, let alone a five course meal for people that I don't go to bed with.

So how can we find a happy balance between, "I own this world," and "The bed is the only safe place right now?"  The answer, my friend, is Moderational Speeches. (Sidebar: Can I trademark that phrase?  It's amazing!)  One might ask, "Moderational Speech?" or, "What is this Moderational Speech to which you are referencing?"  These are speeches that keep us level - not so high that people think we are on medications and not so low that people think we are on medications.  Seriously, though, who cares if we are on medications?  Medicines have their purpose but, I digress.

Let's go through the parts of a Moderational Speech as though you are the speaker, externally or internally.  If you are wondering why you are the speaker, the reason is that you, my friend, are the director of your life and personal dialogue.  By the end of both speeches, you will feel completely grounded but have a little extra kick in your step because you are that good at moderational balancing.
Speech to give to people
Internal speech dialogue
1.      Thank everyone for taking time out of their lives to come listen to you speak today.
1.      Take a moment to reflect on how awesome you are for taking the time out of your day to give yourself this speech.
2.      Let everyone know that you have lots of other things to do today so they should also thank you for being here to talk to them but don't be obnoxious about this.
2.  Continue to self reflect on all that you do     each day to share your awesomeness with the world, all without the incessant pestering for acknowledgement and accolades.
3.      Highlight things that make people feel motivated.  Sometimes, quoting songs can inspire people such as, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life."1
3.   Sing some of your favorite songs, in your head or  out loud.  One of our favorite songs is, "It's Hard to Be Humble," by Mac Davis.
4.      Continue with movie quotes, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."2
4.  Think about how cool a name like Mac Davis is and what your cool name should be. 

5.      Let people know that sometimes, everything is going to feel like it is going your way and, other times, it will feel like the floor is falling out from under you.
5.  Consider legally changing your name to this then realize you aren't really motivated enough to make that happen.
6.      The important thing to remember, in the most moderational inspiration you can muster, is that everything will be okay eventually.
6.  Finish up by remembering that even if all you did today was clean poop off of a wall (don't ask), it was done by a great person with moderational goals and that's good enough.

I'm not the best with citing sources but here's what I got:
1 The Facts of Life, Television Show, portion of lyrics from seasons 2 - 5.
2 From the movie, Forrest Gump.  Great movie, you should watch it.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

2017 Be More: What's up with that?

New Year's Resolution: Two Months In
It's hard to believe I haven't blogged for two months - the time seems to have gone by so fast and so slow at the same time.  I left off with my 2017 resolution: be more.  Be more, it turns out, means so many things.

Be more present.
We've become a society encapsulated in technology.  While I don't describe myself as a person that can't be without technology, I do realize that I spend way more time in the virtual world than the real world for my liking.  I can remember having conversations with my daughter or husband that I didn't really listen to because I was distracted.  It hit me one day that my lack of presence in the discussions could lead to no conversations down the road and that is not a direction I wanted to take.  In order to be more present, I put down the phone or laptop or mute/turn off the television when they come into my space to talk.  They are WAY more important than anything else and I wanted them to feel that from me.

Be more appreciative.
Really?  How general is that one?  For me, this means trying to consciously appreciate what I have in life, like how awesome my friends and family are, having a warm house to come home to and a reliable car to get me around.  I can be a negative, pessimistic person and when I start down that path, it gets wider and longer very quickly so I am trying to be more aware of how good I have it.

Be more amazed.
Not sure if you've noticed this but we live on a planet with tons of cool things to experience.  The sky alone is an entire topic of amazement.  The clouds, or lack thereof, the way the sun shines through pouring rain is an anomaly in itself that still mystifies me every single time it happens.  Rainbows, double rainbows, sunsets that look like the world is on fire and eerie sunrises through the fog.  That's just a small portion of the day sky, not even touching the night sky.  Then there's trees and animals and insects and so on.  Just get out there and be amazed by this place, you won't be disappointed.

Be more kind to yourself.
There's a few components being addressed here.  Sometimes, I have an internal, self-deflating inner voice that puts me down.  I consciously work to knock that bitch down and I've come a long way but still need to focus on the virtual smack down from time to time.  Another way I am trying to be more kind to myself is to make healthier food choices and get more physical activity in.  Now, being kind to myself does not involve taking away any foods - I am living one life and it won't be one without cake, cookies, ice cream, cinnamon rolls and so on but it will be one that involves more fruits and veggies!  Physical activity, for me, is simply doing more.  I get up around 5:30 to get 30 minutes of exercise in, usually walking or a weights/walking combination four or five days a week.  Getting this done in the morning usually leads to higher energy levels through my day and a better attitude because I've already started my day successfully.  This is also time I get alone, to focus on me, because the other people in the house are usually sleeping while I'm getting my sweat on!  I've been feeling tons better since making these changes, which actually started well before the 2017 resolution.

That's what I've been up to for the past two months.  Let's see what else I can do to be more this year.