Friday, August 22, 2014

The Shoulds

From time to time, I suffer from a condition called, "The Shoulds."  It's a very common condition that can come about daily, weekly or even seasonally (gasp).  The good news is, once I take the time to reflect on the effects, I can shake it off before it becomes a more severe condition, sometimes referred to as the, "Debbie Downer," or the, "I'll Never be (fill in the blank here)," or, when experiencing extreme symptoms, the, "No One Wants to be Around Me, Including Me Syndrome."

Examples of "The Shoulds" include:
·         I should be exercising
·         I should be sleeping
·         I should be cleaning
·         I should drive faster
·         I should drive slower
·         I should be making my Christmas gifts right now
·         I should stay late at work to finish this
·         I should be more patient
·         I should be doing something more productive than typing this

Some people experience "The Should Nots" instead of (or in addition to) "The Shoulds."  

Examples of the "Should Nots" include:
·         I shouldn't be eating this
·         I shouldn't be buying this
·         I shouldn't take a nap
·         I shouldn't be wasting my time playing this game
·         I shouldn't care about this
·         I shouldn't do this

The best way I have found to deal with "The Shoulds" and "The Should Nots" is to have an attitude adjustment that consciously points out that I AM GOOD ENOUGH.  Doing or not doing something isn't going to change that; I don't need the self-inflicted guilt to slap my ego's face.

Goodness knows there is more than enough negativity surrounding us and the last thing we need to do to ourselves is self- inflict more negativity.  Sometimes I think if more people join the I AM GOOD ENOUGH movement, we will have a lot less negativity.  Who's with me?

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I Stole Your Bench, B*tch!

I went out with my Mom last summer to the place that loves dogs. Overheard while on the sidewalk, "Oh, Treasure (name of dog)! Someone took our bench! Don't worry, we'll go find another bench!"

A. I sincerely doubt the dog cares that someone else was on the bench. In fact, the dog very likely would have rather gone over to the bench and check out the other dog/owner.

B. I HAVE GOT to train my kitten to walk on a leash so I can take her to this place just to see those "how dare you" faces that I'm sure I display regularly there.

C. I fully intend to make a sign and hold it up, while sitting on said bench that says, "I stole your bench, bitch." *Note: I believe Treasure is the name of a female dog, and, therefore would be using this word appropriately. Whether or not that may be misdirected towards the owner would simply be a complete error on the part of the owner of the dog.

D. I'm actually jealous that the most traumatic part of my day isn't because someone took my bench.

E. I am fully aware that you are jealous that the most traumatic part of my day was hearing someone else stress about their bench being taken.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Foil Eggs are the Gateway to Bad Things

Now that St. Patty’s Day has passed, we look to Easter.  I realize that Easter is a celebration of Jesus.  Halleluiah!  Okay, with that said, I would like to share with you a memory from my childhood that did not happen on Easter but happened sometime within the month before Easter.  My Mom needed to go to the pharmacy one day and brought my brother and me along for the ride.  While she was buying something, my brother and I were perusing the toy and candy aisles.  Afterwards, my Mom stopped at a friend’s house and left us in the car.

My brother was messing with something in the front seat and I leaned up to see what was going on.  He had taken a Big Bird toy and a Cadbury egg from the store!  I had never seen a Cadbury egg so I asked to see it.  Then, Mom walked back to the car.  I tried to give the egg back to my brother but he wouldn’t take it.  My Mom opened the door, sat in the seat then looked over at my brother.  She was floored!  Then, she saw that I had the egg in my hand.

After a hyper-freak lecture about how we were shoplifting and stealing (I think I asked her what shop lifting was, hence the discussion about stealing), she drove us back to the pharmacy to return the stolen goods and apologize profusely to the cashier.  I remember bawling my eyes out telling my Mom I didn’t take it and her not believing me (which, as an adult, I can understand now but then again, knowing my brother…).  My brother had no tears.  I refer to this attitude as whatever.

To this day, I do not like those large Cadbury eggs with their shiny foil.  Somehow, being falsely accused of shoplifting and forced to apologize through a waterfall of tears left a bad taste in my mouth.  I've never really trusted Big Bird since this incident either.  Happy Easter!!