Saturday, May 3, 2014

I Stole Your Bench, B*tch!

I went out with my Mom last summer to the place that loves dogs. Overheard while on the sidewalk, "Oh, Treasure (name of dog)! Someone took our bench! Don't worry, we'll go find another bench!"

A. I sincerely doubt the dog cares that someone else was on the bench. In fact, the dog very likely would have rather gone over to the bench and check out the other dog/owner.

B. I HAVE GOT to train my kitten to walk on a leash so I can take her to this place just to see those "how dare you" faces that I'm sure I display regularly there.

C. I fully intend to make a sign and hold it up, while sitting on said bench that says, "I stole your bench, bitch." *Note: I believe Treasure is the name of a female dog, and, therefore would be using this word appropriately. Whether or not that may be misdirected towards the owner would simply be a complete error on the part of the owner of the dog.

D. I'm actually jealous that the most traumatic part of my day isn't because someone took my bench.

E. I am fully aware that you are jealous that the most traumatic part of my day was hearing someone else stress about their bench being taken.

No comments:

Post a Comment